1)
I am still very selfish- Much of my parenting
still revolves around me. I want things/have expectations that are not rooted
in truth and are only desires that will gratify some felt need of my own. Like
sleeping through the night. I get easily frustrated and annoyed getting woken
up 3 to a gazillion times a night over bad dreams or getting too hot and cannot
wake enough to throw off the blanket. I
get annoyed that I honestly cannot remember the last night I actually slept
through without a disturbance. I am still SOO VERY selfish.
2)
I seek the approval of men- I want people to
think I am a wonderful mom who has everything together! Let’s face it this has
to be the MOST pointless and least useful reality of my fallen nature, but
still it is a sad truth. I want my children to obey, not because it is a
biblical mandate, but because then it makes me look good. I want my children to
be perfectly clean and scrubbed, because then it reflects beautifully on me.
And even if there is no one there to see how wonderful I am, I am more than
willing to show off even just for myself! Pathetic! Trying to make my kids do
things that aren’t really their responsibilities or their issues just because
of my own standards and desires to impress! Wow! Flaming!
3)
I fail every moment of every day- Yup! I am a
humongous failure at parenting! I don’t do the things that I should. I get angry. I
don’t supervise completely all the time. I sin daily and most often against
these little people. I fail every moment of everyday! No matter how hard I try,
no matter how much I do, no matter how many right or wrong answers I give, I
always get it mixed up or something….and basically FAIL!
4)
I am not patient! A sad truth about the reality
of my heart is that I lose my patience far too often. Just yesterday my daughter told me her
attitude was my fault and I answered her “My fault?! MY FAULT? So I TOLD you to
misbehave?! I ASKED for your disobedience” Yeah, I was really patient, loving
and mature! So I really need to work on
that. One of our sons wakes up at the same time every morning no matter what
the evening before looked like and drives me crazy!
