In the last two years of my life I have had the benefit of learning how flippant many of our words are to those around us who share their hearts and burdens. I have often said, "it will be okay" or "time will heal" and a number of other cliche statements. But then my father died and now more than a year and a half later, I still think of him often, the kids speak of him more than any other member of our family (apart from an Aunt that we recently lost in our family as well), and I still wish he was here. I cannot separate myself from my relationship with my father. I cannot heal my heart of the hurt that comes from losing someone so close and although I am healed in Christ from my sin, the wounds that this world brings to me cannot be healed until I am with Christ and removed from this earth.
So why do we say things like this to people: "It will all work out." or "I hope you have healed from that experience"....when the experience may not be one that a heal can be borne from. Only Christ and His salvation can heal us, and through times of trial or loss we aren't healed by those experiences we are sustained and borne up by Him and His body. I think of the people who succored me through the death of my father. Friends who sent packages and called, wrote notes and cards, people who cried with me and especially my sisters (all five of them) were such a HUGE and AMAZING comfort. The word itself comforted and worship music soothed my aching and bruised heart like never before, songs speaking of comfort in death were especially encouraging. And even today, I speak to my husband often of my father. We speak of his life, of his death. We speak of his choices and we speak of the grief that I think will never leave, this world is broken and will never offer us a reprieve from our reality as fallen human beings.
Sometimes the best thing to realize is that we cannot escape our situations and we MUST rely on Christ. If we remember that the only thing that comforts and heals is Him alone and His work on the cross and encourage others with this knowledge we will avoid the ever failing "everything will work out". We cannot be certain that things will work out in favor of someone in any situation and why do we say it will? We are not God and we cannot presume to know what the future holds! But we
can presume on His character, He says He is always faithful, He promises to work all things for our good. So even Job (at the height of his suffering and pain when his body was erupting in boils and leprosy, his children were dead, his wife had forsaken him and his foolish friends said he and God had a "personality conflict") was within God's plan for Job's good. Even when Job couldn't see it.
So instead of saying our pat statements (which I know are meant to be comforting, but really don't offer any real biblical encouragement) about their being a rainbow at the end of the storm, remember that He is faithful and His character is worth betting on, staking our very lives upon. So even if you never heal from your current circumstances, you never have that relationship restored, your loved one is lost to you this side of eternity, you are persecuted for the faith, or you loose your security.....remember He is always working Good things in our lives and those Good things are rooted in
Who He Is and not what you want. This is hard for me personally, because I often wonder when certain things will stop affecting my life ("when God will you let up a little and give me a break" I am probably the only one who prays this right?!). What makes it harder is that the answer may be: never. I may never "get over" certain things that have occurred in my life...but HE IS ENOUGH! I may never be able to think of my father without a pressure in my chest! I may never see anything positive come from situations of huge change and destruction in my life! But I KNOW that He is making us to appear as He appears! He is making Good out of this muck which is human life! And in that we can rejoice! One day our tears WILL cease! One day we will be unable to mourn or suffer or struggle or die! One day we will be with Him and United with Him in His resurrection.
That should encourage the most disheartened and depressed saint!
